you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
