how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
