i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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