He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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