My brain says no but my pants say off.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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