she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
