theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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