he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
