She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
