Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
worst night to have a conscience
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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