Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
