I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
