yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
