peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
