Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
