yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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