tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
