What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
