we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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