we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
