You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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