am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
