I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
pray to the hookup gods
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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