I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize