So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
