You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
