i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
