playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
