is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
