So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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