I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
