I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
