He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My bed smells like the plague
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