ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
