It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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