fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize