Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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