WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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