I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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