"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize