then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
barbara walters just said penis...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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