she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize