Will you blow on my dice?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Couch. On fire.
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