Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize