I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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