Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize