How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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