You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
whose parrot is this?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
