before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize