yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
