so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
