I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
