why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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