I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
