Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
