nut hugger
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
