and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize