How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I came so hard my ears popped.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
