We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
