In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
