I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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